FAQs - Commonwealth Adoptions

1.  How can adoption be a good choice for my baby and me?

If you are not ready to be a parent, you can still give your baby the gift of life, love, and security by choosing adoption. You can plan for your baby's future by selecting a stable, loving adoptive family anywhere in the United States, including your home state, if that’s what you wish.  It is never an easy decision for an expectant parent to make; but, it’s a decision based on courage, selflessness, and sacrifice, based on what you think is ultimately best for your child in the short and long term.  You can be proud of your decision to do what you think is in your child’s best interest, regardless of what anyone else thinks or believes.  

When your baby is born, you can see your baby and spend as much time with him/her as you need. Your family (if you wish) and/or birth parent counselor can also be at the hospital with you to provide love and support.  If you would like, you can have continued contact with your child as he/she grows up, either through pictures & letters (semi-open adoption), or through actual visits and face-to-face contact/communication with the adoptive family  (open adoption).  Opposed to abortion, in which your pregnancy ends in death, you can choose adoption, in which your pregnancy ends with giving life.

2. May I choose the family?

Yes!  You can/will choose the adoptive family that you think is the best fit for you and your child!   You will create a “dream family” list of what you are looking for and desiring in an adoptive family.  For example, if you want your child to be adopted by a family that attends church regularly, you will include that on your dream family list.  From this list, your Commonwealth counselor will present you with adoptive family “profiles.”  These profiles are similar to scrapbooks which depict the adoptive family’s life & personality.   We want you to choose a family that is going to be the best fit for you and your child.

3. Will I meet the family?

Once you have decided which adoptive family you would like, you can then decide if you would like to meet them in person.  If you decide you would like to meet the family in person, your Commonwealth counselor will assist you in setting up a good time and place to meet with the adoptive parents.  Even if the adoptive parents live out-of-state, there are often very willing to fly in to town to meet with you!  You have the ultimate say on how much you’d like to see them, i.e. at what points in the process you’d like to meet with them, including how much involvement you would like them to have when it’s time for the baby to be born in the hospital.  Some birth parents strongly desire adoptive parent involvement, particularly close to and during the time of the child’s birth, while other birth parents choose to not see the adoptive family at all, or maybe only once at the time of placement in the hospital.  The choice is yours!

4.  How much contact can I have with my baby after birth and adoption?

Adoption plans have become very creative. You may have as much contact with your baby at the hospital as is comfortable for you. You can choose an open adoption that allows ongoing visits, or you can choose a less open adoption where your updates come through letters and pictures arranged through our agency.  Adoptive families respect your need to know your child is loved and well cared for.

5. Is there any cost to place my child for adoption?

There is no cost to you. The adoptive family can/will help you with your living and medical expenses as allowed by state law.  We will also help you apply for any public assistance or insurance benefits that you may be entitled to.

6. Can I have counseling?

Yes.  Commonwealth Adoptions has several birth parent counselors in many different states who will be happy to give you the guidance, support, and education that you will need and deserve.  If you live in a state which has a local Commonwealth Counselor (FL, PA, KY, CO, and AZ), then we will be able to meet you personally (if you wish) to provide any & all needed guidance, support, and planning.  If you live in a state which does not have a Commonwealth Birth Parent Counselor nearby, we can still work with you by phone, email, & such…and will still work hard to help you find the “perfect” adoptive family.  In this situation, our agency can/will still assist you with every step of the adoption process, including partnering with a local agency for face-to-face contact & support if you desire and/or as might be required by your State’s law.  Ultimately, if you feel you will need and desire counseling, you can choose to use any counselor in your area that you wish, and our agency will maintain communication with both of you.

7. How will I know that the family I place my child with is a good family?

The adoptive family is required to have an approved Home Study. A Home Study is a written report completed by a social worker who has met on several occasions with the prospective adoptive parents, has visited their home, and has investigated the health, medical, criminal, family and home background of the adoptive parents. The purpose of the home study is to help the court determine whether the adoptive parents are qualified to adopt a child, based on the criteria that have been established by state law.   Lastly, you will know your child is with a good family because you get to choose them, meet them and get to know them.      

8.  How much will my child know about me?

While you are working with us on the creation of an adoption plan, we will have you fill out a Social & Medical History form, so that this information is available to the adoptive parents and your child.  You may also choose to share your identity and where you live with the adoptive family.  Or, if you have an open adoption, your child and adoptive family can have ongoing access to you and what's happening in your life.

9.   Does the birth father have any rights?

In most states, the birth father's rights are equal to those of the birth mother.  If birth parents disagree on adoption, the birth father is unknown or “missing,” or if you no longer have a relationship with each other, your Commonwealth Counselor, along with our adoption attorneys, will advise you as to what your State law says about this issue, what your rights are exactly, and what will be involved in the legal process.  Since State laws are different, the legal process varies on this issue.

10.  Will my child have any information about his/her birth father?

This depends on a birth father's cooperation with you and Commonwealth Adoptions. Some birth fathers give full social and medical history, realizing how important it is for your child to have this. At other times, only the information you give will be passed on.

11.  Can my child find me if he/she wants to search someday?

At the time of the adoption, you can choose to have an open file to your child.  If you do, he/she will have access to your identity and our agency will assist in the search if such is requested later on.  If you choose a closed adoption, your identity will remain confidential.

12.  How can I be sure my child will not be abused or neglected?

Adoptive families approved by an agency must meet strict standards that will be shared with you. In an open adoption you will see for yourself how well your child is valued and cared for.

13. What will my child be told about me and the adoption?

The family who adopts your child will be given information about your background, family and medical history, interests and hobbies… what you are like as a person. They will learn how and when to share this information and how to answer your child's questions with love and sensitivity.  They will explain the very difficult and unselfish decision you made when you decided adoption would be best for him/her.  The Adoptive Parents and the staff at Commonwealth want your child to grow up feeling pride and love for you from the very beginning!  Many of our birth parents have enjoyed making scrapbooks of themselves (their life, family, personality, hobbies, etc.) which they give to the adoptive parents to share with their child as he/she grows up.  This will be a true treasure for your child!