Commonwealth Adoptions now offers both online and on ground education for families adopting through another agency. The cost is $200 for on ground education and $250 for online education.
Introduction
Adoption: Hope, Dreams, Expectations and Reality
Dear Adoptive Parent(s),
You are embarking on a new and exciting chapter in your life. It will probably be the most challenging and rewarding experience you will encounter. Parenting a child who is adopted has many aspects that are different than parenting through the birth experience. We know that being prepared for these differences is essential, which is why we invite you to take a journey with us – a journey of discovery, excitement, change, and joy.
The knowledge that is imparted in this training is only the beginning of a lifetime exploration of what adoption is all about, how it impacts you and how it will impact your child. It is our belief that well-educated and informed parents build strong families.
During your training, you will have the opportunity to learn through reading the articles provided, exploring additional resources, and having discussions with your Case Manager or Adoption Education Trainer. You will also gain significant knowledge through dialogue with those most important in your life as you share this experience together. The following chapters will serve as a springboard for discussion.
Don’t be dismayed about the problems we discuss in the parent preparation. You and/or your child will not face all of the issues outlined here. In our limited time together, we want you to be aware of the many facets of domestic adoption and, as such, will bring up many potential issues. You may find you have more questions than answers. You may be perplexed at times and overwhelmed with the immensity of your decisions. This is normal. Adoption is a complicated, exciting, scary, fulfilling and ultimately life-changing process. As you proceed through these exercises and begin to explore the topics, we invite you to expand your learning even more by using the resources contained in the last chapter. Exploring more than one source is highly recommended.
We welcome you to the exciting world of adoption and look forward to working with you.
Parent Preparation
Parent preparation is a vital component for successful adoptive parenting. Through reading, discussion and education, adoptive parents are provided with training in many aspects of adoption. Well-prepared adoptive parents help insure a positive and rewarding experience for both the adoptive parent(s) and the child(ren) who join their family. It opens the opportunity for future growth and learning which will benefit all members of the family. Flexibility, a good sense of humor and patience are needed for this journey. The ability to handle the unexpected will also be necessary as adoption is at times a complicated and long process. Our training is made up of 10 chapters, which explore different facets of adoption. We welcome you to join us in this process.
Chapter 1 is designed to help the parent(s) assess or reassess their readiness for adoption and to identify things that can be done while waiting. Some of the topics that are covered are:
- Parents making an informed decision regarding adoption
- Parent’s intuitive belief in the rightness of their decision to adopt
- A recognition that adoption requires a two-way bonding process
- Gains and losses in adoption
- An ability to celebrate the uniqueness of each child
- Accepting and celebrating the child’s origins
- Building a strong support system
- Ability to maintain a balanced perspective as changes happen both in the adoption process and in parenting
- Recognizing that children come with many different needs and gifts
- Parental qualities for success: resourcefulness, sense of humor and patience
Chapter 2 covers the adoption triad and topics about how a child belongs in his or her family. Some topics are:
- Appreciating and celebrating the child’s birth parents and the reasons an adoption plan was made for a child
- Making the child’s history a part of family history
- Understanding some of the losses a child may have experienced
- Ways to allow the child to feel accepted, loved and wanted
Chapter 3 is about the language of adoption and the importance of using positive words and phrases.
Chapter 4 begins to explore the different types of domestic adoption and its impact on the child throughout life. Some of the topics are:
- Open Adoptions
- Semi-Open Adoptions
- Confidential Adoptions
Chapter 5 focuses on your meeting your child for the first time:
- Realistic expectations
- Physical environment
- Why the child came into care
- Immediate bonding?
Chapter 6 is about parenting your adopted child and includes:
- Sensory integration, stimulation
- Building tactile experiences
- Visual perception
- Auditory experiences
- Developmental milestones
- Process of change in children
- Personality development
- Developmental delays
- Grief and loss
- The importance of discipline
- Behavior and boundaries
- Attachment
- What if the child rejects you?
- Establishing routines and expectations
- Sleep issues
- Eating
- Adoption is a life long process
- Special issues for single parents
Chapter 7 discusses sibling adjustment.
Chapter 8 talks about adopting an older child.
- Language and communication
- Grief and loss
- Losing the familiar
- Abuse: physical, emotional, or sexual
Chapter 9 relates to self and family identity
- Positive self identity in adoption
- Building a positive family identity
- Building self esteem in adopted children
- Valuing cultural and racial heritage
Chapter 10 offers further resources including
- Books and Magazine
- Internet Web Sites
- Approaching Adoption as a life long process
